RED Moon Rising!

I just finished reading the book Red Moon Rising which at first I thought I was going to absolutely hate. YAY!! Another book on prayer and how christians don't pray enough. The book wasn't at all like that at all it was more a book about how 24-7 prayer started from a vision on the coast of Portugal from a 20 something just like me and him following in obiedence to the open doors presented to him. It all started in one church in one room! The power of one is amazing!!!

I was thinking about the campus and the heartbeat of God to have people passionately pursue Him! As in this book it's really hard to pursue someone that you're not in love with. How do you get in love with someone? Spend time with them. This was the entire heartbeat of the start of 24-7 prayer.. INTIMACY with the FATHER that requires action. It's like the more intimate we are with God the more we'll be about His business of loving people who the world has cast away (prostitutes, drunkards, drug addicts and HIV positive people to name a few) All to often we pass judgement instead of praying for the person. Intercession happens when we're willing to bear another person's burdens to the point of making them as important as our own.

I'm not saying that this is easy but I think that if ONE person chose to really get intimate with God and follow HIS heartbeat to action.

Please God, empower me to be that intimate with you!

A catch up post

School started and for the first time ever I wasn't a student nor did I have my own classroom. The first couple of weeks of the semester was very difficult for me personally however with all the personal junk I got to see all the prayers that had been prayed all summer get answered. I got to see people that I met at orientation actually come to Chi Alpha and we prayed for freshman and that's exactly what we got. Freshman that have a real relationship with Jesus.

I've been challenged more this semester that I ever had been previously. Both in my own walk and in doin life with others. It's a choice to let someone else affect you...especially for the negative. Even when crap happens I can choose to look at the positive and serve the person which is the love i'm supposed to show anyway!

Altitude was this previous weekend and I will never again doubt what it means when someone says God is WITH us! That's what is so AMAZING about God that HE chose to give of HIMSELF to allow us to be WITH Him! Saturday night there were angels in the service and to see them worshiping with us was one experience I will never forget!

Refreshing...ahhhhhhhhh

Have you ever felt like you just needed a refreshing from God? Like if you didn't have an encounter with Him you would die? I've been there pretty much for the last two weeks. It felt like it didn't matter how much I came to God, He was silent. But the amazing thing about God is HIS faithfulness. He is faithful. He will come through. I got to take part in HIS amazing plan for creation last night. There is nothing more refreshing than that! When the God of the universe that created EVERYTHING chooses to use me. It still amazes me.

I still most definitely have my struggles however as long as I'm following after Him. I know He is big enough and wants my good.

This weekend was positively amazing! I got to spend sometime with Nathan, Tiffani, and Kason that was amazing! It was exactly what I needed and am grateful for the opportunity! We went to Magic Time Machine and the zoo! Calvin from Calvin and Hobbs was our waiter! It was really fun!

Life..and Choices...oh the fun

I am in an interesting place right now. I am applying for teaching jobs and have heard back from one ISD and that was just an HR representative will be looking at you file. School starts in a month so if ISD's are going to hire they're going to have to do it soon, or so I would think. I have an amazing friend who offered to pay for me to take the SPED certification test which makes me so incredibly nervous because I don't want to waste her money and fail it. I thought about taking a couple of classes to get the knowledge but then that just adds to my already to high student loan bill. As always I'm thinking what if i don't get a teaching contract what is my backup plan?

Here are my ideas:

1. Apply to daycares both in Commerce and Greenville.

2. Go back to school and babysit.

3. Nanny but it is $75 plus tax for an ad in the newspaper

4. Work any kind of job and wonder why the heck I went to college.

The thing is I am committed to giving my year back to Chi Alpha so I really REALLY need a job that helps pay off my student loans. I really am starting to wonder if I heard God wrong but then I see all the things happening in Commerce and I remember that there is no other place I would rather be and there is nothing I would rather be doing than seeing people become reconciled to Christ.

What's next

What is the next step always seems to be in my mind when something happens whether it's good or bad. I really think that it's more what you do with the info. than actually getting information. I'm struggling in how I approach God and ask for things now. I know that HE is faithful but I really don't see it all the time. I have such need to hear from Him yet I feel like He is silent. I keep reminding myself of what I do know.

1. The creator of the entire universe loves me for me as I am right now.

2. The creator of the entire universe longs to have relationship with me more intimately than any other relationship.

3. I'm His child.

As long as these three truths stay true, I can deal with just about anything. I never knew how black and white I really am until the past 2 weeks. I've realized there is some room for grey areas.

This week has been an emotional roller coaster for me personally. But even in weeks like this I know that there is still something to learn. Here is what I have learned.

Spend time with Jesus EVERYDAY! It really does matter, because the day that you don't, you wish you had. It doesn't have to be in the morning. Just do it when it works best for you.

Pray when you don't know something first. Don't try to fix your problem in your human strength. It probably will be made harder.

Trusting God isn't always easy but it's what is best.

Follow through with what you know you're supposed to be doing even when it doesn't make sense.

faith

"Your words have power"-Nathan and Jesus. I didn't really believe this until this week and I still struggle with it. I have so much uncertainty in my life right now and a real battle going on inside but each day and sometimes each hour I remind myself that I serve a BIG God and He is faithful. He won't let me down or take me somewhere I can't handle but He will grow me and sometimes that hurts. I don't really like hurting but I know ultimately it's for my own good. I know that I may not be the fastest person to catch on to this but the more I read about Jesus' life the more I realize that its possible to live life on the side of positivity. Even when facing the cross, Jesus didn't moan and groan, He went to the Father, wrestled through it and ultimately followed the Father's will. It's definitely not easy but worth it. He works situations out for the good of everyone involved and sees the whole picture. We don't. I'm choosing to speak life and not death into the situation of life and let God take care of the rest. He's obviously more capable than me!

I seriously have a love-hate relationship with where my life is right now. I love being in Commerce and seeing what God is up too..cuz HE is definitely up to something. I hate being jobless and feeling like I don't contribute enough to the house. I love the relationships I have with people here. I hate that I'm currently without a timothy which is someone to truly feed into. I long for this though. I really enjoy this, it's like I love you enough to live my life in such a way that you can imitate me and be imitating Christ. I am searching for such person and it is quite possible it is a freshman but I want someone right now. I feel like a cup that is overfull.

So I applied to some school districts last week and am really interested in hearing back from them.

The answer!

I got asked today, What is God doing in Commerce this summer? and I had to answer I don't know. Wow! I got so self- absorbed and wrapped up in my rediculous job that I had no idea what God was doing. So what did I do? Asked God. You know what happened He answered me! He is restoring His people. So then I said, how do I fit into your plan? The answer, don't forget about love and love my people, even when it hurts. Show my children love, Tiffani. Love them like I love you. Wow we serve an amazing God!

the journey continues

To say I'm struggling would be an understatement! I'm in a pretty rough place personally right now and I'm not even sure how I got here. I came to a place last night where it was like no matter what my struggle I know the MAKER and CREATOR! He is enough! Through every struggle, triumph, repentance and pain. He is there! He is even with me when I don't feel him or am unaware.

I am officially back in the job market so please pray! I need a job where I don't turn off most of me and where I am not dealing with as much spiritual warfare.

The blood it's enough!

"You can choose how to feel" Man. I seriously hate being told this but it is so true! I went home this weekend, yes to actually where my family lives which is actually a big deal. I normally would come back from a visit feeling pretty crappy and not worth much! I prayed before I went that the normal fall wouldn't happen and that the visit would be a good thing and I was actually excited about getting to see my nephew. This isn't to say the weekend wasn't difficult because it definitely wasn't easy but I chose how to feel. I've realized I'm a grown adult who makes responsible decisions and although past sins may never be forgiven my Jesus has forgiven me and doesn't look at me as trash so I'm fine.

I got to have a really good talk with my grandma which made the whole weekend worth it. I still won't be the a typical person who goes home every holiday or anything but I really learned a lot about my own strength in who I am and who I am in Christ. THANK YOU for YOUR blood! The blood covers all sin. I actually believe that totally. There is no sin that anyone can commit that the blood of Jesus that can't be covered!

I really feel healed in some ways like I no longer feel like an object! I'm a daughter of the most high God and He looks at me not with condemnation but with peace and joy. He's my daddy.

Jesus is bigger and more awesome!

WARNING: This will not be a micro-blog!

I've been thinking a lot lately about how desperately I need Jesus. The scripture that has been coming into my head as of late has to do with how the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. I have felt all these in the last week. I've felt stolen from, by loosing all my joy and peace, I've actually contemplated my real reason for living and am I actually living in it, and the one i feel like is most used is to destroy me. I feel very destroyed. I think this is a really easy attack method for the enemy because I don't always take the word as the actual word of God which I should more often, my Jesus is way more awesome than Satan. He has to flee and leave at the name of Jesus.
How often I forget.
This week really wasn't horrible though. I got to see one of my friends from college who was very instrumental in getting me to realize that Christianity was more than a 30 second prayer but a relationship and a lifestyle. She really got me involved in a family which is amazing. I also got to see and spend a little bit of time with Tiffani's mom this weekend which was also amazing! I really do love her and she shows me so much about true love and preferring others over ourselves.

I was finally honest with how I was feeling which is always refreshing and communication really is the key to making relationships successful. Communication isn't just one sided though it's more about really edifying the body and the other person. Each one of us have our own struggles and by sharing them somehow our own personal problems don't seem so big and we see how alike we really are and that often the same tactics are used on just about everyone which shows that they can be overcome.

I need to remember my Jesus is bigger than______ (fill in the blank). He truly is bigger and way more awesome!

James 3 (The Message)
^1-2Don't be in any rush to become a teacher, my friends. Teaching is highly responsible work. Teachers are held to the strictest standards. And none of us is perfectly qualified. We get it wrong nearly every time we open our mouths. If you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true, you'd have a perfect person, in perfect control of life.

^3-5A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!

^5-6It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.

^7-10This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can't tame a tongue—it's never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!

^10-12My friends, this can't go on. A spring doesn't gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don't bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don't bear apples, do they? You're not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you?

If I didn't struggle with this so much I don't think that this scripture would mean so much to me.

I love the honesty and practicality of this passage and so much of it reminds me of the true higher calling I'm called to and the difficulty of living life in it. I do realize that life is so much more amazing with this call. I wouldn't change how I know Jesus has a high call on my life and therefore calls me to live life above reproach and to show the world Him.

Nothing or no one can take me from the hands of my loving father! I've been listening to this song by Rick Pino for the begining of my quiet time and it talks about being alone with your daddy and you innocence being restored. I so desperately desire for restoration that I can see differences when I have my alone time with Jesus and when I don't. It's far more important than I ever realized.

I have come to realized that who I am in Christ never changes. I'm still His daughter, He loves me through my questions and concerns. He is proud of me. He looks at me and says, that's my child. He wants good for me. He loves me enough to correct me. Repentance is beautiful!

I really have been working through who I am in Christ. Not who I think I am or what anyone else thinks but who am I when no one is looking and when it's me and Jesus!

what?!

I just spoke prophetically in Chi Alpha tonight and I still have this overwhelming feeling to throw-up! I really do want to remember what the heck I say. I'm not in the service as respect to megan! She is speaking tonight and she said I make her nervous so I said I would help with worship and then sit outside.

I really worry about whether or not it's from God and really for the whole body and it really bugs me that in most places it happens everyone knows it's me saying it and I really wrestle with that..i so desperately don't want anyone to think that I am super spiritual or anything and sometimes i feel like when you prophesy you're really putting yourself out there in a new way.

I know most of this is retarded..but I really don't understand.. How do you know when it's God and when it's for the body. I've read the scripture but I'm lost..

A lot has happened since I last blogged which I don't really know why I haven't more. So, I have like a lot going good right now things are finally falling into place.
I got a job which is completely and totally out of my comfort zone. I enjoy knowing that I'm learning something so new and that this is just one more thing to make me into the person I am supposed to be.
I've officially moved! I have to go back tomorrow and clean and get a few things but other than that I'm out. I learned so much about myself through that experience and made an amazing friend but it doesn't mean that there wasn't super difficult times but i really think in those times is when the most growth happens.

I'm officially done with my surface stuff!

I really have been working through forgivenss and what forgiveness is and how you forgive the people that have hurt you the most. I realized forgivenss is letting go of the hold I have around their neck and genuinely wanting good to happen to them. I can usually let go but the wanting good is another story. I've been so deeply hurt so many times that I find it difficult to see how forgiving them actually does any good....but I'm learning it does. I really think when we have unforgiveness we actually are hurting ourselves more than the other person. I'm not saying that I have forgiven all the people that hurt me but I'm honestly working on it for the first time in my life. I feel like my heart is slowly being repaired and each time I forgive it's a little more healed and whole. This is all just my opinion but who knows.
-tiffani

The more is coming later..

This is the follow up post to the post from last week! I don't know what happened but I just never went back! So here we go..
So Tuesday night I honestly didn't want to go to Chi Alpha or even really stay in this journey with Jesus and I was walking to the university from Nathan and Tiffani's and I was really telling God how it was and how I felt and basically being at titty baby about life. I remember asking God why it seemed like everyone else could have doors open for them and yet multiple doors closed for me. I even through myself a little pity party! All this to say when I walked in the student center I was almost tempted to not even stay but then I heard Melissa sing and I realized that it's during worship that things seem to change and not matter so much. So i decided that I would sit at the table and be my normal social self and worship!
I went into the room and said no matter what crap is going on in my life I truly believe that JESUS is worthy of praise so for that reason I will worship...which I did and something amazing happened...I had an encounter with the Almighty SAVIOR who actually cares enough to listen to my problems and walk with me through the fire...it's not just some fancy lyric some super Christian guy came up with! Imagine that! I ended up getting to actually see a silhouette of Jesus and heard Him ask me why I didn't trust Him! If that doesn't go deep I don't know what will...

The job situation!

Wow! A lot of things have happened since the last time I blogged which was only a week ago which seems crazy but it's very true. This past week has had a lot of up and downs to say the least but I don't really think I would want to live any other way! (This will make more sense later)
Last Friday, I went into the daycare I had applied to and had a conversation with the manager but not the owner and she said she would look at my application(which she ended up doing right in front of me) and talk to the owner about hiring me. So I left there Friday pretty dang excited! The possibility of job was within the owner saying it was ok to hire me, which seemed very simple! During the conversation the manager told me that she'd call me on Monday and let me know something, so at 3:30 when she hadn't called I called and got the voicemail. So I called Tuesday and actually talked to the manager who said she hadn't been able to get in contact with the owner but she would be able to talk to her at the staff meeting that night! So there was still hope. Today I called and the manager said the owner wasn't willing to let her hire but I was on the top of the stack of applications and that there was a possibility of a teacher quitting which would mean starting out full time instead of having to work up to full time so I know that there is a plan and that my Father sees my needs and will meet them! More later..which includes something amazing!

Random Jesus Moment

As you know when I tell you something you get the whole back story so this is your warning...everything will have it's purpose eventually.

So, yesterday I was just really in this let me get things done mood and Megan and I went looking for options for the summer and are still considering those options and just really want what is best. I started watching the biggest looser because I wanted some alone time and just time to let my brain stop..isn't that what tv is for..and ended up falling asleep and being 30 minutes late for Chi Alpha and for those who don't know I LOVE worship at Chi Alpha because everyone is just so genuine and authentic so I was really bummed that I missed it. The rest of the service ended up being about building a discipleship community and the characteristics of said community which was very insightful and gave me much to think about. By the way I fell and hurt my foot which made me feel like a klutz. So I wake up this morning and my foot is throbbing and I just think great I have to go through a day with my foot hurting. I then just was quiet and began to feel better. Silence is golden. So anyway I had a pretty rough day with the kids(one of them got laundry soap in their eye) and was really struggling with my purpose for being here and how unworthy and unprepared I feel. I went to see Tiffani cuz she is my person and it really made me feel better and then I got to go see Michal as well so my day was actually turning out to be good. Then I remembered that I had no clean sheets and that I needed some to sleep on my bed. So I started asking around and everyone was busy. Then Tiffani called and told me to come eat with them...THANKS!! I walked in and Nathan and Tiffani and I got to have a really good conversation with them about the next step in my life. I really was unsure and scared at that exact moment because I realize the mutual trust required for it to work. I said I would read and pray about it..and didn't until I went to the laundry mat. I was sitting there watching my clothes wash and reading the brochure and I just asked the simple question to God of show me if this is what you want me to do. I really didn't think I would get an answer to be honest but I got so much more. I got to have an encounter with Jesus like no other in the middle of a laundry mat! I now know my next step which is very refreshing. I still need a job or a way to make some money..so keep praying!
-Tiff B

WOW! What a Week!

This past week has been EXTREMELY challenging to say the least for me personally! I really have wondered how I fit into the move of God happening on the university and community. I so desire for it to be more than a unique discipleship experience for a few but a major move in the community as whole and I really want to pay it forward, meaning I want my life to count for something in someone else's life.
I have been asked what it would take for me to allow God to break me and heal me deeply and to be honest I think I'm there. I so desperately want to be whole and not feel like humpty dumpty inside that it makes me sick! I end up hurting the people I love the most because I feel so shattered and some I'm getting a little too close for comfort which scares me but is desperately needed. I've been friends with Nathan and Tiffani for longer than anyone in my entire life so I'm scared that they will one day give up on me like so many others. I know I'm not an easy friend. I guess that I feel like I heard the same things I hear from them and those same people failed me yet I know if anyone is going to stay by their words it is them. I need to get over myself and realize that Nathan is not some horrible person from my past that will say one thing and do another as has been proven innumerable times. I really struggle with my relationships with men and how I've been so hurt and yet I literally trust Nathan more than any man on the planet.
I know I need to be more open and less wall building but that's just scary. I keep thinking about the children of Israel though, it's like they built the walls around there cities for protection yet they always seemed to be falling and I think it's really because God is our protector not our man made walls both relationally and spiritually.
I'm really struggling with the next step in my life I really want this job at a daycare in town and I also really want to be used by God in ministry. So yet again I am very torn. I just know that I'm loved and I love so until I'm told something else to do I'm going to keep doing what God told me to do last..which is stay in Commerce.

Ephesians 4:1-3

In light of all this, here's what I want you to do. While I'm locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences.

This scripture is really hard to live out practically especially when there are differences between two people both of which are cared about deeply! I had an experience today at the contact table that really embodies this passage. I have a choice how to react to situations that require me to think about others rather than myself! This is humility! I really like how the message puts the scripture because it's so honest! I need to act out love! It's not always easy but require because of HIS great love and my calling which requires this type of love!

A lesson learned

Blogging is very difficult for me because I never really know how to start! So I guess I'll just get to the point! I learned a lot this weekend about myself and the way I react to falling from the way I know I should be living. I got to see my friend that was very instrumental in showing me the truth of the gospel and the love of Jesus. She has changed a lot and is not the same but neither am I and we have definitely grown apart from each other and live two very different lives. We went to a really cool place called "T-Bone Toms" in Kemah, TX. I had fun for about the first 2 hours after that though I was just done. I ate the best dang bar-b-que sandwich! I ended up not having the greatest night because I put myself in a situation where it was almost impossible to say no and completely ignored what wisdom and what my heart was telling me. I had a person who loves me dearly tell me that she wasn't 100% comfortable with the idea of me going and I should have listened. I really learned that friends like this are given to us for a reason and they are often used by God for our own safety and protection. They're kinda like our immune system when they see something that they think isn't good they start fighting and I have learned through my experience that I should listen to those people!
Also, its not a very smart idea to lie. Just tell the truth and face the consequences because the consequences of the lie are usually worse. I think most people would prefer the truth and be a little hurt than a lie and have to figure out what is true and be double hurt. Lying always causes more of a problem than a solution because the truth will always come out!

I also learned that it's really not about the fall but more about what I do after the fall that really matters.

It's a choice..stay down and wallow in self-pity or get up repent and go take the next practical step which may be something as simple as worshiping!

WOW! I really all I can say right now because I am absolutely blown away by how amazing of a God and how caring of a Father I serve. He hasn't forgotten about me and He wants my good. His kingdom is here and near! Hallelujah!!!
I realized today how simple acts of obedience are what is important. Small steps lead to big things. I just can't believe how absolutely blind I've been. It's like I let all the problems of the world cloud my vision of how big of a God I serve. It's kinda dumb! No it is dumb!
So please be praying for a door to stay open and to have favor with the employer! I really can't believe how many "no we're not hiring" I've heard and just to have an employer show interest that is in a related field as my degree it is amazing.
I also had an open door with Taco Bell. Now it's not the greatest but hey if I'm supposed to be working there for a reason then I'll do it.

Another really big thing that has been on my heart is the whole thing about every student prays, every student goes, every student gives. I've done everything but the actually going part which is the scariest! I really have been praying about giving my year and I am still not confirmed on that but hey God is big enough! I really love that fact that God is big and sees that end from the beginning!

Life..

The hand of the LORD was upon me, and he brought me out in the Spirit of the LORD and set me down in the middle of the valley; it was full of bones. 2And he led me around among them, and behold, there were very many on the surface of the valley, and behold, they were very dry. 3And he said to me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" And I answered, "O Lord GOD, you know." 4Then he said to me, "Prophesy over these bones, and say to them, O dry bones, hear the word of the LORD. 5Thus says the Lord GOD to these bones: Behold, I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. 6 And I will lay sinews upon you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live, and you shall know that I am the LORD." Eziekiel 37:1-6

This whole profesy has really been speaking to me. I may not understand everything it is saying yet but it really does give me hope! I know I'm struggling with most of life and am really in the middle of a fight for my soul but when I read this it just brings me hope and peace. So what is going on with me....

I'm staying in the town the university I graduated from is in and in some ways still feel like a student.
I'm spending more time running in fear than living in peace.
I feel like God could take my life in about a million directions and none of them really seem like they have a next step..so i don't know what my next step is.
I probably have more trust now than I've ever had..just out of nesessity.

I've been in a horrible mood for the last couple of days and I decided that it was time to get out of the funk so I startred just worshiping and this song was part of the playlist and it just really spoke to me. I am a co-heir with Christ. I have the victory!



Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Begining the new year and decade

It has been a crazy start to 2010! I started the year at a Chi Alpha conference called SALT. It started at the very end of 2009 and ended on January 3. I got to celebrate the new year and decade with the Almighty.

I have been called to spend a semester seeking the face of my Father and seeking discipleship. I have been blessed with an amazing couple who willing to pursue discipleship with me. I'm not saying that this is going to be easy or anything but I honestly know that it is the will of the Lord for me. I know that this is very counter-cultural but maybe more people should consider living this way. As with most things a great opportunity seems to always come with a great deal of challenge and fight which is where I recently have been. I have been serving a local church in the children's ministry for about the last 3 years and I have been shown by God that I use the ministry to hide and not have to deal with things and that I don't really have a personal walk with Him.

So at this conference, there were these amazing speakers and I can honestly say that I had an encounter with the Father and that His love is very different. He doesn't love because of what we do or because of who we are but simply because He can..there will be more later..gotta work