I really believe that sometimes God has to allow my own human desires to overcome His unexplainable grace and mercy just because of my stubbornness. I say that to say that the great thing about that is that God promised if He loves me he would discipline me. We all fall short of His intended plan and purpose. It amazes me that I know so many people, including myself, that think God just forgives the sin and nothing comes from it. There are still consequences from the sin. Recently I have discovered that all to often humans try to play God and set people on the track of restoration through punishment. When true restoration only comes from the father and grace. Its not the people I have and will hurts fault or problem to come up with a way for me to come back to Jesus.

ITS MINE ALL MINE!

I NEED to rediscover grace all by myself with Jesus and not feel like I am doing it as a punishment for my sin.

Am I stupid enough to think that I didn't hurt people. Heck NO! But these relationships are mine to repair and no one else. I messed up so now I must pay the pauper in my relationships no matter how long it takes.

I would be a liar if I said all this is easy but who really wants easy. I want to say that this is my problem that I created so please let me handle it. Don't tell other people unless you know I have told them or think about how you would feel. BTW: It's gossip to talk about another person's sin.