deep breath

I have got to stop fighting life. My life is in this huge transition which is just really postponed for a year. I don't regret the last year of my life however I do think transitioning like this would be easier right after college before I really got my heart involved with people. I feel like I'm loosing myself. I want so desperately not to fail at my own life but it seems like the more I try the more I fail. I really want to just press the restart button without leaving the people I love. I feel like i'm ruining friendships by having so much junk happening. Who wants to have a 25 year old who has no idea where her life is going as a friend?

I have no idea how to separate being in leadership and being friends with someone. For the first time since I've known Christ I'm not in "ministry". It's really a weird feeling . I'm sitting on the fifth floor of the library and just thinking about all the things I've believed for and how many I've seen happen! I've got to believe that if it can happen for ministry it can happen for me personally.

I really have grown in the last year though. Trusting God when life seems impossible and seeing Him come through is amazing!