faith

"Your words have power"-Nathan and Jesus. I didn't really believe this until this week and I still struggle with it. I have so much uncertainty in my life right now and a real battle going on inside but each day and sometimes each hour I remind myself that I serve a BIG God and He is faithful. He won't let me down or take me somewhere I can't handle but He will grow me and sometimes that hurts. I don't really like hurting but I know ultimately it's for my own good. I know that I may not be the fastest person to catch on to this but the more I read about Jesus' life the more I realize that its possible to live life on the side of positivity. Even when facing the cross, Jesus didn't moan and groan, He went to the Father, wrestled through it and ultimately followed the Father's will. It's definitely not easy but worth it. He works situations out for the good of everyone involved and sees the whole picture. We don't. I'm choosing to speak life and not death into the situation of life and let God take care of the rest. He's obviously more capable than me!

I seriously have a love-hate relationship with where my life is right now. I love being in Commerce and seeing what God is up too..cuz HE is definitely up to something. I hate being jobless and feeling like I don't contribute enough to the house. I love the relationships I have with people here. I hate that I'm currently without a timothy which is someone to truly feed into. I long for this though. I really enjoy this, it's like I love you enough to live my life in such a way that you can imitate me and be imitating Christ. I am searching for such person and it is quite possible it is a freshman but I want someone right now. I feel like a cup that is overfull.

So I applied to some school districts last week and am really interested in hearing back from them.

The answer!

I got asked today, What is God doing in Commerce this summer? and I had to answer I don't know. Wow! I got so self- absorbed and wrapped up in my rediculous job that I had no idea what God was doing. So what did I do? Asked God. You know what happened He answered me! He is restoring His people. So then I said, how do I fit into your plan? The answer, don't forget about love and love my people, even when it hurts. Show my children love, Tiffani. Love them like I love you. Wow we serve an amazing God!

the journey continues

To say I'm struggling would be an understatement! I'm in a pretty rough place personally right now and I'm not even sure how I got here. I came to a place last night where it was like no matter what my struggle I know the MAKER and CREATOR! He is enough! Through every struggle, triumph, repentance and pain. He is there! He is even with me when I don't feel him or am unaware.

I am officially back in the job market so please pray! I need a job where I don't turn off most of me and where I am not dealing with as much spiritual warfare.